olivia j. crandall; controlling tremorsAbout Olivia:
Keep your loved ones away from one, Olivia J. Crandall. After years of dealing with morally questionable people, she has gained a demeanor so insidious, so fantastically raw, that she will poison the minds of all your blissfully ignorant children until they are just like her: dangerous. She has been the inspiration for the cunning femme fatale of many a young, struggling author's graphic novel. Her classic good looks are as devastating as hurricane katrina. Olivia is hurricane katrina, and we are all poor black people. What a dick. She is known to sing The Olivia Tremor Control, claiming those songs are about her. They aren't, she's just a conceited fuck. Among other things, wearing an Olivia Crandall shirt into a chuck e. cheese is worth as many tokens as a report card with straight A's. So if you enjoy ballpits, and that old teenage mutant ninja turtles arcade game (the one pre-dating dance dance revolution, where you stomp on turtle shells instead of fuckin lighted arrows), wear this shirt.
1 comment:
(it was sarcastic, i proverbially wank-off to Eisenman)
Post a Comment